I've gotta get a message to you

I used to make jokes at a former boyfriend's expense about his culinary skillz (before he was 'former. It's possible these two points are linked). You see he claimed he could cook. And he had five dishes in his repertoire to prove it. The joke? They were all essentially the same thing – mince with onions – but variously labeled as meatballs, tacos, kebabs, bolognese or rissoles. Yes, there were slight variations to each recipe but you can give a dwarf an identifying personality trait and a different-coloured outfit… and he's still just Snow White's man slave. Likewise, meatballs, tacos and rissoles are all mince beef with onions regardless of what you dress them in.

But now I've become a living, breathing Bee Gees song (and no, it's not Tragedy). Rather, I started a joke and now the joke is on me. It occurred to me that just like Mince Meat Man, my so called genius in the kitchen is really just the same dish wearing different outfits. But unlike his pan-fried cow with saturated fat on the side, my 'dish' is rooted in sound nutritional principles and has the potential to free us all from 'what to have for dinner' anxiety.

OK, so here it is – every dish I cook involves as many vegies as possible, together with a lean protein. Oh, and cheese. The variable? My choice of carb.

Take a skinless chicken breast, a selection of your favourite vegies and the all important cheese and you can…

• Top a bit of dough and you've got yourself a pizza
• Mix them with sauce and pasta – buon appettito!
• Slap 'em on a bun and call it a burger
• Stir fry with noodles and break out the chop sticks*
  
• Toss with couscous and pretend it's a salad
• Or roast together in the oven with potatoes and feel like it's 1954*

*Cheese optional

What's funner than pizza? What says 'I eat for pleasure' more than a burger does? Provided the bowl of pasta is not bigger than your head and the cheese doesn't form the bulk of the meal (again, not unheard of for me), all of these dishes are nothin' but healthy. They won't make you fat but they'll keep you stayin' alive. Message received?

(Consider too these other pre-approved options in the protein category: lamb fillet, rump steak, chickpeas, beans, tofu, vegie patties, turkey breast, fish, tuna, salmon.)

BONUS SECTION: Cheese porn
Goat's cheese, blue cheese, parmesan cheese, cheddar cheese, washed rind cheese, aged cheese, brie cheese, grated cheese, sheep's cheese, melted cheese… (sorry it was just emotion, taking me over.)