Words can only hurt you if you try to read them

I caught Miranda Kerr on TV more times than I would care to in the last week. And in between reminding us how much we need David Jones in our life, Miss Kerr explained that she was going to write a book on nutrition. Because she, like, studied nutrition. Um when? Reading the fat and calorie panel on everything you eat does not a nutritionist maketh. Why do models like Miranda think they need to do more than look purty. It's bad enough too many of them turn to acting - now we have to deal with a new slashy, the model/nutrition expert. 

The Miranda Kerr Centre For Modules Who Want To Eat Good and Do Other Stuff Good Too

Lesson One

"She wants to give weight to the theory of food combining'

Like, not eating carbs and protein together because our bodies can't process this stuff all at once. Never mind that many healthy foods (which Ms Miranda would probably advocate in her nutrition tome) like chickpeas, nuts and wholegrain bread contain both protein and carbs. This crackpot theory is as old as the hills (some say it has its origins with religious zealots in the 1850s) but it's crazier than even fundamentalist religion. Kookier that, dare I say it, Scientology. Meanwhile thanks to Miranda, the concept secured umpteenth column inches and air time on all networks. Way to go all you investigatory journalists.  

Lesson 2 

'You can change even the structure of your cells with your mind,'' she attests. ``It is such a powerful tool.'

Well I'm no scientist (in fact at school I chose the science unit called 'Machines' which involved making Lego that moved with battery power) but I'm pretty sure that listed among the things the mind is capable of, altering cells is not high up there. The food combining palava is quaint, to talk of shit like this is just embarrassing. 

Lesson 3

'The book should be beautiful and be something that every girl wants to keep, like a beautifully embossed diary'

Like, yeah, I mean, how are the kids supposed to learn if they can't carry a book that matches their outfit? The book has to be at least three times prettier than this! Actually, probably the one good idea she has - will help distract from the made up dribble contained inside its cover. 

Miranda dear - stop wondering if there is more to life other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking? It's enough for you. No truly, it is. As for the rest of us, when you're looking for information on nutrition, turn to people who have been to university, rather than appeared in an ad at a bus stop outside of one.